Monday

Not an intentional hurt

 

Ever have those moments of regret?  (I know I can't be the only momma) those times seems to come at the worst time.  Like during a big storm. I know that I can't always blame the boys. It isn't just them. It is hard work being a parent.  Being a loving parent is even harder. Being a patient parent its hard too. Are ya seeing a pattern here? I can never measure up to the standards others set. I can't even measure up to my God’s parenting and those are the ones that matter most. 

When I make a mistake I apologize. Its the right thing to do. It teaches honesty love and compassion it allows the boys to see we are people too. We make mistakes. We confess those mistakes and do our best to make it right. But the words or the action has already happened.

It hurt though when my anger gets the best of me and I’m not just talking about hurting my boys with words. It also hurts me. It shows me that I have yet failed again in doing the best for my boys.

“If you stay calm, you are wise, but if you have a hot temper, you only show how stupid you are.”

Proverbs 14:29

Be slow to anger Do not show how stupid you are. Yes I do believe that anger can show stupidity in people. I don’t often use that word {stupid} But I do see how it fits in this instance.... I am getting better. I am recognizing that my anger isn't at them and I can direct it where it needs to be. Still hard to do. Still hard to even admit when I’m angry.

Did my boys deserve the anger.. No. Did I do my best to try to deflect that anger? Yes. Did I still say words I wish I had not? Yes. I asked my boys to forgive me. I asked that they not hold it against me and I apologized for my wrong.

Then I asked God turn forgive me my anger, my hurt, their hurt and to help. I cannot remove anger without God’s help. I am not perfect. I am a parent doing the best she can to raise men out of boys in a world that is all about hurt, anger and me me me.

I want my boys to look at me with love and kindness. Not hate. Not bitter thoughts. I ask God every day to help me with them, with myself and with my tongue. It is the only way I can truly help them in the way to go.

 

How do you handle hurt words or anger?

 

Thank you God for Grace and Mercy today..

Kelli

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