Tuesday

How to help Foster the truth….

 

I read an article today about why kids lie and how to help foster the truth.

This is a trait that is born into us. It is not something we learn, but something we must unlearn. It is easy to tell a white lie, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy. Are we not setting a precedent for our kids about lying? Or what about that white lie to a friend of why you cannot do something, or that you have other plans when you don’t?

We may think that our children are not listening or learning from us. the truth is we are their role models. What they see us do and accept is what they come to know as acceptable behavior.

So the next time your child tells a fib, remember these ways to help create a happier home and environment.

7 Ways to Create a Safe Environment for the Truth

1. Be aware of how you respond to misbehavior in general. If your kids are worried about being punished or yelled at when they mess up, they won’t feel safe telling you the truth. Practice using your calm voice (although it can be hard at times!) and focus on solutions that will solve the problem instead of assigning blame.

2. Allow your child to save face. Don’t give your child the opportunity to fib by asking questions to which you already know the answer. For example, instead of asking, "Did you finish your homework?" try, "What are your plans for finishing your homework?" If your child hasn’t completed his homework, he can save face by focusing on a plan of action rather than inventing a story.

3. Focus on the feeling. When your child is being dishonest, try to understand what made him feel that he couldn’t be honest with you. Instead of calling him out about the lie, try, "That sounds like a bit of a story to me. You must have felt afraid to tell me the truth. Let’s talk about that." You’ll get the honesty you’re looking for, as well as information that may help you foster the truth in the future

4. Acknowledge and appreciate honesty. Express encouragement when your kids tell the truth. "That must have been difficult for you to tell me what really happened. I admire your courage for telling the truth. You are really growing up!"

5. Celebrate mistakes. Think of mistakes as a way to learn to make better choices in the future. If kids know that you won’t be angry or disappointed when they mess up, they’ll be more likely to share honestly. To respond, simply say something like, "That’s a great opportunity to learn for the future. If you could have a do-over, what would you do differently?" If your child’s actions negatively affected another person, ask what needs to be done to "make it right" with the injured party.

6. Reinforce unconditional love. Make sure your kids know that while you sometimes don’t like their behavior, there isn’t anything they could possibly do that would change your love for them.

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7. Watch your white lies. Remember that young ears and eyes are always tuned in. Whether you’re failing to correct the barista who gives you too much change or making up a story about why you can’t volunteer at the school fundraiser, remember your actions set the example for acceptable behavior.

{Thanks to  Today Moms for the article I read}

 

It is GREAT to be a homeschooler…………….

Momma

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